Start anew

Hello lovelies.

It has been such a tough journey within these three months. I've been too equipped with so many personal issues, academic and everything else. First things first, I want to switch this blog o' mine to a general blog where I post whatever I want to without feeling succumbed to what people want from me.

3 months of melancholic journey. Have you ever had to experience a back to back punches everywhere around your body and all you had to do is to force yourself to walk and stand as usual to hide away the pain from showing through spiritually? I just can't accept the fact that in within those 3 months I've experienced so much - so bloody much. The moment I turned 18 on 27th March 2015, everything turned upside down for me. I had to struggle through so many things, to be emotionally stronger than I used to be and at the same time, to go out there to be what I really want to be.

I can't believe everything's going too fast. In a blink of an eye, it's already June. 2015 needs to slow the heck down because I'm not ready for a few things yet. Wait, can you actually believe in within those three months, I actually worked in an amazing cafe with shitty staffs (except for a few)? I'm not being sarcastic about my compliment. It was an amazing cafe - superbly love the ambience and food but not the staffs... Mmm, hmm... Oh whatever, a big chunk of weight is finally lifted of my shoulders.

Other than that of which I found myself thinking more often than I used to be; family, relationships, friendships, academics and myself. Recently, about three weeks ago, if you follow me on instagram, you will understand why I've been feeling worse than before. Oh my gosh, there are so many other things that have happened but I think most are way more personal, I choose to keep it to myself, honestly.

I'm just here hoping for a better day, week, month, year. One day, everything will be fine.

Love, Delilah.

Update

Hello lovelies!

I'm super delighted that I finally have the time to blog. I've been catching up with the stuffs that I've been missing out for the past few months and I'm finally back. It feels so good. I'm done with year 1 and I can't wait to go on with my school journey because honestly, school makes me happy even though I hate waking up in the morning. It's March and in a few more days, I'm turning a year older. (What?!)

Time flies super fast these days. I'm currently looking for a job which I think is a pretty good idea because at least there is a reason for me not to be lazy and yes, I went for the interview on Monday this week and I'm hoping that all is well. I'm going for another interview on Friday as a backup plan. We always need a Plan B if Plan A screws up.

Right now, I feel so contented with my life. I love the people I surround myself with and how much happier I've been compared to before. I mean, that's a great start to achieving other goals in the future. We need to set a positive mindset in order to achieve what we want. Speaking of which, I am excited to post my current favourites here on my blog this week.

Till' then.

Love, Delilah

Hello 2015!

Hello lovelies!

Typical Laila is forever late. One month late, to be exact. I apologise for not updating my dearly loved blog as January has been a super hectic month for me. Many things happened which I would rather not want to repeat. But hey, as long as I'm back blogging while I have some free time before the second last week of school starts tomorrow.

I've bought so many things in January and hopefully, I'll be able to post a haul or a favourite post when my holidays start!

As you may know, I've started wearing the hijab after my last post. I'm proud to say that it has been a month of goodness in me. It has been a wonderful journey and Insya Allah, things will get better in time. Many asked why because it seemed like a sudden move for me to start a new lifestyle in 2015. Well, I should write about my hijab story soon right?

Sure I'll have tons of posts coming up soon. Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.

Summing it all up

Hello lovelies!

2014 has been a very challenging year for all of us. Looking back through the months, 2014 is a one hell emotional rollercoaster journey for me. I'm not even kidding. So many things happened whether was it good or bad. Out of all years I've lived through, this year was such a tough trial for me. In other words, cobaan.

You know how people always say that they are tired of feeling this and that? Well, I'm literally tired of this emotional rollercoaster ride I'm currently in. I've been such an emotional wreck that it affects everyone else around me. 2014 is probably the year where I actually really questioned myself. 

"Who am I? What do I want to be? Is this the life I want? What is the purpose of my life and my existence? Why am I this way?"

Maybe I'm just going through the phase of growing into an adult whilst I'm going to turn 18 in about 3 months. It pressurizes me thinking of all the questions that I have to answer later in life. I curl myself up into a ball not knowing what to do. I feel lost. Honestly, I hate the life I'm in, the skin I'm in and I guess it's time to turn things the right way where I will be able to breathe and live in the life I deserve. Thus, this leads to my 2015's resolution.

I want to become a better me.

Things will change and I believe that everything's going to be better in 2015. Insya Allah.

This blog will be on revamp and hopefully it'll be ready by 30th December. See you soon.

Love, Delilah.

Good news? Bad news?

Hello lovelies.

Good news. I was about to post an October favourites but I realised I'm too late for that so I'll just post up my current favourites instead. Hopefully, it'll be up on my blog by this Thursday. Bad news? I've been reluctant to post anything on my blog because I'm not in a mood to do anything, really. I come to school, study and when it's time to go home, I go home. It's not like what it used to be, I know. But, this semester is wearing me out so much and of course, I have to deal with more conflicts too. Internal and external.

Well, I'm a type of lady who is quite difficult to express herself. I may portray myself as an extrovert because that's what many have told me. Honestly, I'm an introvert. I keep most of my feelings to myself. When I try to share about what's going on, my tongue goes numb. I've always believed that some things are better left unsaid and being surrounded by joy and laughter is the best medicine to cure sadness. In honest of all honesty, I do get sick and tired of putting up a mask and telling people "I'm fine" but that's just how I get through the day.

                    

We're always in character wherever we go, whoever we're with. For an example, we're all different with our partners, family, friends, strangers or whoever it is. We play a different character with different people and in different situations. We're never real, even when we're alone by ourselves. We are never who we really are. I have to give credits to my facilitator for Monday's module for this paragraph. I just realised that fact today after being told by him. I was taken aback, of course. Because all these while, I've always thought that I knew who I really am when in reality, everyone is a mass of confused humans trying to figure out themselves.

I've seen so many things, I've heard so many things and I've felt so many things...

I don't know... All I can say to myself right now is to stay strong and just endure. No matter how tough and difficult the situation may be right now, it'll get better eventually. I know it and to those who are going through tough times currently, stay strong. Everything will be alright. It won't be an instant miracle but be patient, your day will come eventually and everything is going to be fine. Lots of love from me.

Love, Delilah.

Update

It has been a week for Semester 2 and I can say that things are going fine. I would say that I'm pretty much still shy and awkward around new people but I know that it will gradually fade away sooner or later. Honestly, I couldn't explain how exhausted I've been lately. I'm not sure why. Is it because of me not being able to adapt waking up early in the morning or is it just the weather that is affecting my daily performance?

I have such a lovely bunch of classmates. I'm just hoping for a great unforgettable semester. Also, I'm actually saddened by the thought of me and my boyfriend's schedule this month because the both of us really have no time for one another and we're trying our very best to meet one another on his off days which are mostly on weekdays. But, they always say that things will get better eventually if you're patient and have faith in everything you do. (I'm impatient but I will try)

Of course, there are bad and good things that happened but let's just stay positive, yeah? I apologise for the short post because I just feel the need to blog. 

Love, Delilah.

BACK TO SCHOOL MAKEUP

Hello lovelies!

I decided not to film due to one reason. I don't have the equipment yet. Hopefully by the end of the year, I could get a DSLR of my own.

I'll just show the products I use for my back to school makeup or in other words, it could be an everyday makeup as well. I also have a short video on how I contour my nose and cheeks as well. Unfortunately, I forgot to record when I contoured my temple, forehead and my jaw lines but I hope you get the idea out of it.

Let's start from the base!

 From the right, it's my moisturiser from Nivea. Amazingly this acts as a primer too. It covers up your pores instantly. Honestly, I have quite large pores around my nose area and with this moisturiser, poof, it's gone! You have no idea how much I love this product. Also, it has an SPF 30 which is good because I don't have to spend the extra time to put on an SPF on my face after I put on my moisturiser. Ain't nobody got time for that.

On the left is my makeup base from Sasatinnie. My favourite and it's in the shade Balance which has a pink tint to it. Well, pink tint in primers or makeup base actually adds glow to the face. You learn new things everyday, people. I don't usually use this on a daily basis unless I have a long day in school and which, I don't want my makeup to fade away and reveal the monster behind it. Nah, I'm kidding but really, this makeup base makes my makeup stay all day. But, if for the sake of going to school and go home straight afterwards, I couldn't care less though.

Next, foundation/BB cream. I'm the type of girl that has my foundation-BB cream days. Trust me. When I really want that coverage and I have the mood to put on foundation, I will. When I'm lazy, BB cream will just do the trick as well as BB cream feels lighter on my face but it does not really provide the coverage I want. Whatever. BB Cream on Monday sounds good.

I have two shades of foundation. One from Maybelline in shade 220 which is a shade slightly darker than my skin colour and Loreal True Match Foundation in shade Golden Beige which is slightly lighter than my skin colour. Honestly, I can't find the perfect shade for my skin thus I mix these two lovelies together to get the shade that suits the rest of my body. It sounds troublesome, right? But it's worth it. BB Cream is from Holika Holika which has both CC and BB cream effect. I've talked about this product on my previous-previous post, you could check it out here: July Favourite/Reviews/Hauls

Best concealer ever. Hands down. I've been wanting to write a review on this but I had no time so here's a short review by Delilah. It has a creamy base which I really love because I could take my time to blend it and like what BubzBeauty have said in one of her videos, this product is a dupe for Shu Umera's concealer. The product is so small but you only need little amount of it to cover your dark circles and it's perfect to cover blemishes as well. It does not cake up, it does not oxidise and it does not crease. Perfect. But, one thing about this product that it only comes in two shades. The light and the medium. I'm using the darker shade of the two shades available. Maybelline, why?

My all-time holy grail powder, Rimmel Stay Matte Powder. I choose this product over any powder that I have bought so far and I really don't want to use it up. It makes your face matte all day and if you're looking for dewy skin just powder your face around the area where you usually perspire and leave the rest of the face powder-free.

I've been loving these two products so much. I have sparse eyebrows and I usually create the shape I want with the brow pencil and I got the brow pencil at a nearby street shop and it's refillable! Afterwards I use the wand to remove the harsh lines. I take my all time favourite brow powder to fill it in and give me that full eyebrow look. Of course, it's tedious but it's definitely worth it. I'm always so jealous over girls with full looking brows while mine are just... I can't even. Brow powder is from Daiso. Yes, only $2.

From the left, the first product is my holy grail cheap bronzer that I've used so far, Catrice Sun Glow Matt Bronzing Powder in Medium Skin. Oh my gosh, I can't explain my love for it. This is actually my second time buying it. I honestly have a pale skin so you know, I really need the glow for my face. I use this on the areas that need that extra glow and contour especially on my cheeks, jawlines, temple, forehead and nose. 

Tip: I also use this bronzer to add colour to my eye lids to add to the earthly glow look that I've been loving currently.

In the middle is a contour palette from Daiso. I only use the highlighter to highlight my brow bone and also brighten up my under eye. I am actually not a highlighter girl on a daily basis. Only on days where I glam up, I do go for a highlighted look because duh, pictures. 

On the right is my blusher. Honestly, I only use blusher when I'm super lazy to put on any bronzer on my face so I'll just slap on this blusher which is in peachy shimmery colour to add the glow to my pale face. 

I'm a mascara kind of girl. Can you not see how many mascaras I use for my eyelashes? Yes, shush. I can't go out without mascaras. I can't so if you're trying to say that I wear too much... just keep your opinions to yourself because mascaras are basically heaven on earth to me. I actually need more but... I think 5 is enough, right? 

Lastly. lipsticks. I can never go out without having any colour of my lips. Really. So, usually for an everyday look, I'll go for a pink or nude pink colour. When I'm feeling fancy, I'll go for a hot pink shade and for an everyday look, of course, the nude pink shade which is from ELF. 

Did I tell you how much I've been loving the earthly glow look? I have been using this DIY lip colour ever since. I was definitely inspired by AndreasChoice. 

All you need:

• Lipbalm (It would be better if it is colourless)
• Bronzer

1. Apply lipbalm all over your lips to moisturise it. Of course, never forget to put lipbalm on your lips everyday to prevent it from chapping. 
2. Brush your fingers over the bronzer and dab it on your lips until you get the brown shade you like. 

It's not long lasting but it adds to the glow if you love an earthly bronzed face. Try it!

I never mentioned eyeliner because firstly, it's not my type of a daily makeup look especially when I'm rushing to school. I'll put on eyeliner on days where I really want to look good like formal presentations etc. I have no time to wakeup early just to create a perfect winged liner because I'm human and I need sleep and on some days, I couldn't even be bothered to do my makeup. So yeah, this is the end of my blogpost. 

Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.

I'm back

 Hello there!

Yes, I've been away for so long even though it is currently holidays for me and school is starting next week (what?!) but I needed some time on my own and I'm back!

Alright I know I'm 11 days late but I want to share with you what I've done for the past month while on hiatus (I was at home the whole time)

I.. dyed my hair. Yes I dyed it the colour that I've always wanted but never dared to do so. Apricot colour. I was definitely inspired to dye my hair in Apricot because of Andrea and of course, Jenn Im. And, I finally got to dye it! Honestly, I was in a dilemma between Chiffon Beige and Apricot but since I've always wanted Apricot, it happened.

Right after I got my pay I actually went down to Watsons with Shukur and was contemplating to buy it. Firstly, I didn't want to damage my hair. Secondly, I'm afraid I would regret dyeing my hair in that colour. After so much considerations, heck, I should just risk it and try the colour out.

I bought my most favourite brand of hair dye which is Liese and especially with the upgraded ingredients, I had to.

Liese is a brand of hair dye which has an ammonia-free smell and you literally dye your hair like as if you're shampooing your hair. That's it, it's full of bubbles and foam. My favourite. 

Now, they added honey to moisturise the hair and prevent the hair from damaging which is good because after 11 days my hair is not as dry compared to the other hair dye I've used such as Revlon. That brand literally sucked the moisture out of my innocent hair. 

I'm so happy with my hair colour currently. I'll definitely want to try out Chiffon Beige next year. I haven't taken a picture with my new hair colour because my phone camera refuse to actually show the colour. 

For this week I'll be busy revamping the website and also, filming my back to school makeup. 

Do check out my other blog where I post stuff about me and my boyfriend - http://loveshula.blogspot.sg 

Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.

August Favourites

I realised I haven't update much these days. I had exams recently and it just ended so say hello to holidays! I'm so glad to be where I am right now. I'm so much happier than before. Let's just talk about my favourites for August, okay? I don't have lots of things to talk about but just a few that I came across as something that I should put under my favourites.

First off, as always, beauty products. I only got two beauty products this month. It sounds pathetic but really, I had no time to actually go for a shopping therapy in August due to exams and other school related stuffs. But, these two beauty products has got to be the best products ever created.

Holy grail item right there. False eyelashes from Ardell has got to be the best among the rest. I said it. Hands down. I've tried so many different false eyelashes and so far, Ardell owns the best false eyelashes. I got this because firstly, it was highly raved by many YouTube Beauty Guru and also, I ran out of false eyelashes and I needed one right away. I got the Ardell's Glamour false eyelashes in 105 Black at JEM's Watsons for $9+. I can't remember the exact price, honestly. I wore the lashes the next day. (Like I said, I needed it urgently) and I swear to God, it sticks so well and it's the only pair of false eyelashes that I don't have to cut to fit accordingly to my eye shape. It's so lightweight and it feels almost like I'm not wearing any false eyelashes at all. Of course, as I like it, it makes my eye look bigger! The texture of the false eyelashes are soft and it feels almost real alongside with an invisible strip that does not make the false eyelashes look fake. I love it so much and so Ardell's false eyelashes goes into my August favourites. I can't wait to get more of it and also, I've heard of Red Cherry and I will want to try that out one day. 

I'm wearing Ardell's false eyelashes in 105.

Next product, 

Another holy grail product. I have tons of love for this product. It's the Color Bucket Lip Flash Jam which is a brand from Korea. I got it in the colour Cherry Berry Jam which is an orange colour at $13. I saw this product at Jurong Point's John Little and I knew I had to get it. It is basically a lipstick or a lip stain and it comes in different colours. This product is like paint where you could mix different colours to make it into your own desired colour. For example, if you want a baby pink colour, you could mix Raspberry Jam and Milk Blending Jam to get that colour. Amazing right? Seriously, I need a whole collection of Lip Flash Jam. Did I mention that the size of the tube is small and you'll only need a dot of this product to cover your entire lip? It's best to apply this lip product with a lip brush. I love this product a lot. Seriously, a lot.

On my lips: Cherry Berry Lip Jam

I was having religious classes hence explains why I'm in hijab.

And, what do you do when you're too stressed up with exams around the corner? Movies! Well, there are two movies this month that I want to talk about. I'll explain briefly and not in detail because I do not want to spoil to those who haven't watch it. 

First, as many would know, it's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I watched this movie with my boyfriend right after the movie was shown in cinemas. TNMT has always been my favourite childhood cartoon and I do not want to miss it. This movie is packed with a lot of comedy and action and it's perfect for families. I would rate this movie 4/5 because mainly I loved how the movie is emotional, action-packed with comedy being inserted in serious situations. And, for that one bit that I didn't like is that the movie has a predictable and cliché plot which I find not very unique but overall, it's one of the best movies for August.

Next movie, it's a horror movie from Malaysia.

Pengantin Malam, yes, that's it. A movie starred by Farid Kamil and Nora Danish. Again, I spent 2 months looking for the movie online because apparently, I have no idea whether Singapore actually showed this back in June. Finally, I got to watch it and I'll give it 3.5/5. I loved the sound effects and the scare jumps that have been put together in this movie. I didn't like how confused I was and also, the intro to this movie was abrupt and it makes me confused on what's happening knowing that there'll be a flashback at the end of the movie. It's worth watching anyway. 

I guess that's about it. Like I mentioned, I was busy and I didn't have any time to update my blog nor go for a shopping therapy. I was too busy with school and I hope to update as much as possible since it's the holidays currently which will last till early October so, see you till' the next post. 

Love, Delilah.

Dealing with emotions

I'm back with something more personal that I would like to share.

I've been dealing with so many things while growing up. Some were good and some were bad, of course. But, the main thing that I've been going through 95% of my life is dealing with my emotions. I'm always at war with my own feelings and anger and anxiety have always been my enemies.

Growing up I had to deal with anger because one thing's for sure, I'm a hot-tempered person if you know me personally but thank God I've learnt how to manage it and control it over the years as I encounter different people who tell me different advices on it. I used to be the kid that screams at everyone when I'm angry and I will also get physically violent. I mean to say I regretted doing so as I used to be oblivious of my surroundings when I'm angry. No matter where I am and who's around, if you make me angry, I will shout at you and I don't care whatever they might think about me. Well, I'm ashamed of my past if you ask me.

Right now, anger is still by my side but I'll always try to be patient and tolerant before I outburst into something that you wish not to see at all. I'm always battling to force myself to think positive and be patient because I feel like being angry worsen my self-esteem than actually boosting it. For an example, I have a classmate that has always been on my nerves every single time if we were grouped together because simply, she always has no idea what's going on and I, on the other hand, hate to repeat myself. To be honest, she has been a one big challenge for me to deal with because every week I feel the need to burst into flames but no, I stick to my promise to be tolerant and patient because I have a strong conviction that if I were patient enough, great things will happen in my life.

Until one day, she actually triggered my anger and I was oblivious like I used to, as my buttons were pushed and my voice was immediately raised at her. I reacted like I never did before, I automatically retreated and felt guilty for doing so. This has never been the case of mine to be guilty of getting angry at someone because I used to be that person that will be very cold hearted after raising my voice at somebody. I knew I had to say sorry and I did. That was a big relief for me actually.

The main thing about me is that I like to make deals and promises with myself like as if I'm someone that is halved into separate personalities.

Dealing with anxiety is also a major problem with me because I will get panicky and my heart will pump two times faster than average. This is not normal, to me. Anxiety is something that I can never predict. It just happens and I will definitely go into a world where I feel like everything is totally messed up and I just feel like death is the best answer to it. I think my anxiety started when I was 4 years old because I encountered a near death experience while swimming at the beach. Truthfully, I'm still battling with anxiety until now. Hopefully, one day, I'll figure how to overcome it.

If there is one feeling that I wouldn't want it to go away is feeling melancholy. Melancholy helps me to sympathise, empathise and care for other people. Without it, I would be a devil in disguise because I would be so cold-hearted to everyone else and no, I may look arrogant but I'm really nice and friendly if you talk to me. Well, being melancholy also makes me cry a lot, even at little things but I feel that having this feeling is actually a blessing for me and I thank God for that.

The truth is, there is more to it but I guess I'll keep it short for tonight. Dealing with emotions is difficult but if you try to tell yourself that it is not difficult, it will eventually naturally be easy for you to deal with it. But, it takes time.

Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.

Selamat Hari Raya!

Before I start posting all of my selfies and pictures during Hari Raya, I would like to apologise if I have ever mistakenly said anything that have offended you. I never meant to hurt anyone but if I ever did, I apologise. Therefore, I want to wish all my Muslim friends, family, readers a Selamat Hari Raya and enjoy this month of Syawal eating all the good food, visiting all your relatives and tighten your bond with them and lastly, show off your beautiful baju kurung or baju kebaya as this is the only month where some of you get to wear it often.

(The following will be a picture heavy post)

Day 1

What I Wore: 

 Baju Kurung from Mozaic 

Dokoh from Tanjong Katong Complex

Bag from Kate Spade

Heels from Bata

Circle Sunglasses from a Reseller

Earrings from Forever 21

So, since it was a school day for me for the whole week ahead, my class decided to wear our baju kurung to school but I got to take pictures with some of them because the rest went off as usual. 

What I Wore:

Baju Kurung from First Lady

Sandals from Rubi

Brooch from Joo Chiat Complex

Earrings from some shop at Clarke Quay

And yes, it's the second day of jalan raya for me and my family which I took little pictures of anything but only two selfies of myself.

What I Wore:

Baju Kurung Songket from Johor Bahru

Brooch from Mom (LOL)

Earrings from Forever 21

Bag from Charles and

And again, third day of jalan raya. Selfies4you.

The only thing I changed wearing was my baju kurung. The rest were the same. Bleah. 

Sorry for the picture heavy post.

Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.