Dealing with emotions

I'm back with something more personal that I would like to share.

I've been dealing with so many things while growing up. Some were good and some were bad, of course. But, the main thing that I've been going through 95% of my life is dealing with my emotions. I'm always at war with my own feelings and anger and anxiety have always been my enemies.

Growing up I had to deal with anger because one thing's for sure, I'm a hot-tempered person if you know me personally but thank God I've learnt how to manage it and control it over the years as I encounter different people who tell me different advices on it. I used to be the kid that screams at everyone when I'm angry and I will also get physically violent. I mean to say I regretted doing so as I used to be oblivious of my surroundings when I'm angry. No matter where I am and who's around, if you make me angry, I will shout at you and I don't care whatever they might think about me. Well, I'm ashamed of my past if you ask me.

Right now, anger is still by my side but I'll always try to be patient and tolerant before I outburst into something that you wish not to see at all. I'm always battling to force myself to think positive and be patient because I feel like being angry worsen my self-esteem than actually boosting it. For an example, I have a classmate that has always been on my nerves every single time if we were grouped together because simply, she always has no idea what's going on and I, on the other hand, hate to repeat myself. To be honest, she has been a one big challenge for me to deal with because every week I feel the need to burst into flames but no, I stick to my promise to be tolerant and patient because I have a strong conviction that if I were patient enough, great things will happen in my life.

Until one day, she actually triggered my anger and I was oblivious like I used to, as my buttons were pushed and my voice was immediately raised at her. I reacted like I never did before, I automatically retreated and felt guilty for doing so. This has never been the case of mine to be guilty of getting angry at someone because I used to be that person that will be very cold hearted after raising my voice at somebody. I knew I had to say sorry and I did. That was a big relief for me actually.

The main thing about me is that I like to make deals and promises with myself like as if I'm someone that is halved into separate personalities.

Dealing with anxiety is also a major problem with me because I will get panicky and my heart will pump two times faster than average. This is not normal, to me. Anxiety is something that I can never predict. It just happens and I will definitely go into a world where I feel like everything is totally messed up and I just feel like death is the best answer to it. I think my anxiety started when I was 4 years old because I encountered a near death experience while swimming at the beach. Truthfully, I'm still battling with anxiety until now. Hopefully, one day, I'll figure how to overcome it.

If there is one feeling that I wouldn't want it to go away is feeling melancholy. Melancholy helps me to sympathise, empathise and care for other people. Without it, I would be a devil in disguise because I would be so cold-hearted to everyone else and no, I may look arrogant but I'm really nice and friendly if you talk to me. Well, being melancholy also makes me cry a lot, even at little things but I feel that having this feeling is actually a blessing for me and I thank God for that.

The truth is, there is more to it but I guess I'll keep it short for tonight. Dealing with emotions is difficult but if you try to tell yourself that it is not difficult, it will eventually naturally be easy for you to deal with it. But, it takes time.

Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.

Selamat Hari Raya!

Before I start posting all of my selfies and pictures during Hari Raya, I would like to apologise if I have ever mistakenly said anything that have offended you. I never meant to hurt anyone but if I ever did, I apologise. Therefore, I want to wish all my Muslim friends, family, readers a Selamat Hari Raya and enjoy this month of Syawal eating all the good food, visiting all your relatives and tighten your bond with them and lastly, show off your beautiful baju kurung or baju kebaya as this is the only month where some of you get to wear it often.

(The following will be a picture heavy post)

Day 1

What I Wore: 

 Baju Kurung from Mozaic 

Dokoh from Tanjong Katong Complex

Bag from Kate Spade

Heels from Bata

Circle Sunglasses from a Reseller

Earrings from Forever 21

So, since it was a school day for me for the whole week ahead, my class decided to wear our baju kurung to school but I got to take pictures with some of them because the rest went off as usual. 

What I Wore:

Baju Kurung from First Lady

Sandals from Rubi

Brooch from Joo Chiat Complex

Earrings from some shop at Clarke Quay

And yes, it's the second day of jalan raya for me and my family which I took little pictures of anything but only two selfies of myself.

What I Wore:

Baju Kurung Songket from Johor Bahru

Brooch from Mom (LOL)

Earrings from Forever 21

Bag from Charles and

And again, third day of jalan raya. Selfies4you.

The only thing I changed wearing was my baju kurung. The rest were the same. Bleah. 

Sorry for the picture heavy post.

Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.

July Favourite/Reviews/Hauls

I didn't went on shopping much in July and I apologise for the late post. I've been busy with school, as always and I barely have the time to actually be on my laptop. So, since I'm feeling super duper free today, I shall blog about something that I should have done 3 days ago.

I will not only talk about what I've bought, I'll also talk about both reviews and favourites for the month of July.

As you all know or not know, I'm a big fan of circle lenses since 2010. Honestly, I have a mini collection of contact lenses from the same brand - Luxury. This circle lens is from Luxury 27 collection - Green and honestly, I had to buy this colour again (the previous one tore) because it complements my skin colour and hair colour perfectly. The green shade is subtle and blends perfectly with my eye colour. This is probably my favourites for this month because oh my gosh, my favourite lens is back in my hands and I can't stop wearing them ever since I got them.

Luxury lenses are soft and they don't dry easily. Well, basically, that's my opinion on it since I've worn lenses from this brand for 4 years already. They have a range of collection from Luxury 1 to 80+ something? I'm not too sure. I bought mine from Kittyfoxes and they also sell contact lenses from Barbie and Geo and they are a bunch of trustable dealers!

Guess what? They are currently selling Luxury lenses at $6 with free casing currently! What are you waiting for? Try on your first pair with them right now!

I'm going to talk about some Daiso products which I'll keep it short and sweet for this blog post. This is an eyebrow pencil in the shade of brown. This is probably like the on-the-go brow pencil for me because the colour is perfectly for my current hair colour and there is a brow mascara and refills that came with it. It also glides on easily on my eyebrows. But. the thing I don't like about this product is the fact that it breaks easily and there is no cover for the pencil side. Overall, I have a problem in whether I should like it or not. 

I regretted buying this pair of fake eyelashes as it doesn't suit the shape of my eye at all or maybe I dislike the outcome of it? It didn't have any effect on my eyes and it made my eye longer than usual thus ugh hate hate hate! 

An eyebrow razor and I super duper love this razor as it has this comb-like protector so it doesn't cut into the skin when shaving. Kudos to this product! 

This concealer is also another on-the-go product because it is easy to apply and this has been my favourite on-the-go concealer because the product has a smooth and semi matte finish on the skin. One thing for sure, it is suitable for short hours because it will crease over time and the flaws which you conceal will reveal itself. (!!!) So, if you're going out for a short while and need to conceal something, use this product! 

I've always wanted an eyelash glue and I actually bought this because of its cute packaging and little did I know that it works so good and sticks well like any other pricey eyelash glue. It comes in both clear and white glue but I wanted a white glue instead because I'm insecure of applying clear glue on my fake eyelashes. I have no idea why too.

Hmm.. always save the best for the last, right? Let me tell you guys how much I freaking love this product from Daiso and yes on the product itself, it states "even thick makeup are removed well" and bloody yes, they remove a good whole damn of makeup on my face. I could buy tons of this as this only costs $2 and definitely works better than any other makeup remover that I've used before. It's not even a month yet and I actually used half of it because it is that good. Excellent product from Daiso! 

I guess this is the end of my Daiso talking. Yay!

I've always wanted (a line to start off with everything, huh?) a BB cream and finally I've found the perfect one for my skin. It's from Holika Holika. I got it for $14.90 from a street shop nearby my house and this BB cream is meant for young skin and it is also appropriate for oily skin. It has both CC and BB uses which I love the most and the colour is perfect for my skin and it blends well giving a semi matte finish. It feels lightweight on the skin and the SPF helps your skin from the evil UV rays. I've never seen this product from Holika Holika before and it is rare too. It comes in two shades and of course, I got the darker one. I love this product a lot!

My first ever gel liner purchase and I can say that gel liner is better than liquid and pencil eyeliners. This is definitely my holy grail product as it is long wearing and waterproof! You literally have to use a makeup remover to remove it and water will not remove it. Well, that's the purpose of waterproof, isn't it? 

I didn't like the brush that comes with it because it's difficult for me to create a wing liner with it and I'm still on a search for a great eyeliner brush. 

I'm saving this for the last. Oh such a holy grail and most favourite product for July! It's none other than the NYX Butter Lipstick in Licorice. I'll talk about the product first and about where I got it later on. This product is super moisturising and it is quite long wearing, I must say. It is super pigmented and it is the perfect plum maroon shade that I've been looking for. This lipstick is perfect for casual days or even days when you feel like dressing up! It glides on smoothly on the lips and it is definitely recommended if you're looking for something that does not dry your lips up and still has a high pigmentation! 

I'm definitely ashamed because this product is out long ago and I just got it. (Basically Singapore does not sell it) NYX lipsticks have got to be the most affordable and comfortable lipsticks ever. Even after I ate so much food, the colour is still there and it acts as a stain instead of a lipstick so I can choose to either reapply it or leave it as it is. If you never liked creamy lipsticks, using the powder technique will make it matte as seen in one of my blog post. 

I got this from Makeupstache and it was a special pre-order for Hari Raya and since I've always wanted a new lipstick for the festival, I got one for myself in the colour I wanted. Initially, I wanted NYX Matte Lipstick in Siren (because I've always loved matte products) and I've already transferred the amount into the seller's account and guess what? The colour was not in stock. I was super sad at first and I had a hard time to choose whether the seller should refund the money or should I choose another product in exchange. I didn't want to get the NYX Butter Lipstick because I am not a super fan of creamy lipstick but since I really wanted a new lipstick for Hari Raya that is of the same shade of Siren's, I ordered NYX Butter Lipstick in Licorice which has a similar shade as well. 

The main thing is I didn't know NYX Butter Lipsticks that she sold were a dollar more than the Matte ones and oh my, she was such a sweetheart to pay that extra dollar for me. I appreciated it so much. I felt guilty of not paying that extra dollar even though it was a little amount but it meant a lot to me. So, the products actually arrived a week before Hari Raya and she was busy and had no time to meet all of her customers to pass the lipsticks. And, this is probably the sweetest thing that any seller has ever done to their customers. She actually wanted to deliver the lipsticks to her customers' homes personally as she has already promised to her customers that we will all receive it before Hari Raya. I was silence by the act she did for her customers and in my opinion, I feel that she is the best seller I've ever encountered. I received in the morning during pre-dawn meal when I opened my door. She actually placed it neatly in a paper bag with the lipstick in it. I couldn't thank her enough for what she has done for her customers and she actually mentioned "anything for my customers". I am moved by her sincerity in selling her pre-orders.

 I definitely recommend her and do support her online shop when she's back this August! Check her instagram account at http://instagram.com/makeupstache! She sell products that you can never find in Singapore! 

I actually wore it on the first day of Hari Raya. Look how amazing the outcome is! I loved it a lot. Thank you so much, Sabrina. ❤ 

Till' the next post.

Love, Delilah.